It's been a really long time since I last draft anything at least for my blog here. For this semester, I have to maintain another blog under WordPress for assignment purposes. And boy I kid you not, year 3 is really to joke with.
Entering year 3 is like having a roller coaster, with monsters chasing you from behind trying to eat your brains off. Piles and piles of assignment were assigned, with most of them we have yet to complete for the time being. At the same time, format of the assignment has obviously level-ed up, well, just because we are year 3 now.
Currently in the midst of having all three assignments to be completed within the next few days. Usually I don't really cry, unless its triggered by some onion-cutting scene in the cinema, which I think the last time it really happened was when I watched Train to Busan. But today, I actually teared off under the least expected circumstance- when I heard the song Too Good to be True by Lauryn Hill. My eyes just turned watery, my hands trembling, and I teared for a bit.
I'm sorry for having to put all my rants sometimes here. I know it might seem a little annoying to my readers, if there is any left after the lack of updates for too long. But I truly can't find someone to talk to. I didn't want to worry my parents, my friends would have comforted in the wrong way, ranting on Facebook is like stripping naked for everyone to see your scar.
I find writing to be therapeutic and soothing, hence all the reason I am here.
And yes, I don't feel good at the moment. For all the accumulated stress, and the repressed emotions that I have been hiding from everyone.
Not sure if being trained to have a logical mind, with the ability to see far-sighted is a blessing or a curse to me. Sometimes I felt I couldn't connect with the people of the same age, because I find them childish with their liking to act on impulse. I couldn't explain the consequences of their certain action to them because they won't be able to view and evaluate it. So what's the point of doing so?
I didn't really like having to interact with humans much, because I find them all terrible and difficult to deal with. I've been avoiding situations if I could, and I couldn't then I'll just forge a smile and the cheerful me. Some call me pessimistic, I call myself realistic.
I'm so tired of this world full of humans with bad habits and with all the twisted values, especially on their selfish behaviour. I couldn't stand it, I just can't.
I am tired. Of having to accommodate myself to maintain harmony. I could be a bitch, but that's not me either. I am tired, really tired. Tired.
